9:21 p.m. - 2007-01-05
Plan of Attack
I feel like a kid getting ready for my first date. Wow-how do I get ready? What will I say? How will I act? Will they like me? Oh well, let's get real. This one is really for ME. I'm the only one who needs to like me. I need to make a few changes in my lifestyle. For me mostly. For the ones I love too. For some reason, they'd like to keep me around for awhile. If I don't change some of my habits, that's not real likely to happen. So here goes.............
I'll be 58 years old in April. My Mother died of a heart attack at 59 years old. Daddy died of a heart attack at 68 years old. So far, not so good. I've never actually added up the losses to heart disease in my family, now's as good a time as any. I know there are a hellofa lot of them. 10 kids in Mother's family. Heart attacks? Mother, Aunt LouRetta, Aunt Jenny, Aunt Eleanore, Uncle John & Uncle Cal for sure. That's 6. I'm not sure about the others. My cousin Thom died a few months ago after heart surgery-he was only 58. Cousin Dwayne-in his mid to late 50s. That's 8. I couldn't begin to count the cousins with high blood pressure. Well over a dozen, I'd bet. Yeah, WELL over a dozen.
And a few hours ago I checked my blood pressure at WallyWorld -twice- after resting for a few minutes. It was 231/120. Not Good. I've been out of blood pressure medicine for about a week and a half. Taking 1/2 doses for the weeks prior to that. Prescription prices SUCK and money is short. So, why oh why did I choose to buy cigarettes instead of blood pressure medicine? Utterly stupid and dumb and the kicker is........I really don't think of myself as a stupid person. Smarter than a lot. Not as smart as some, obviously. For what it's worth, I did make a Dr appt today. Can't get in until the 16th. I asked that the Dr call in a refill on my meds, but when I stopped at the drugstore he hadn't called yet. Maybe tomorrow. I sure hope so as I have had a continual headache for nearly all of today. And I know it's from the blood pressure.
Oh, I just thought of Linda, my sister. She had her first stroke at about 43 years old. Another a year or so later. Add Lupus and kidney failure to that and she died. She was only 52 years old. Wow. Our family history really does suck the big one.
So, what am I going to do about it? Finish my last 3 cigarettes and be done with it. For good this time. I've quit before. Once for about 3 years. Why the fuck did I ever start again? One crisis or another. One excuse or another. I think I spent those 3 years just waiting for an excuse to smoke and damned if I didn't find one. Not this time. This time I really WANT to be a non smoker. It's just another stupid and costly thing I do. (As of tomorrow, I'll be able to say DID, not DO.) That'll be a good thing.
What else. Definately start walking. It's so lovely around here I have no reason to not go out and walk. At least. I enjoy the cold, so I can't use that as an excuse. And I so look forward to those endorphins Richie used to talk about when he was in top shape and walking daily. Yeah, come on endorphins. Bring it on.
Diet? For sure. Nothing crazy. Just healthy eating and lots and lots less salt. Unfortunately, I'm one of those crazy people who salt b4 they taste. Bad habit. That's one I really have to work on. And portion size. Just because something tastes good doesn't really mean I need a lot of it. The pitiful thing is....I know all this. And have failed miserably at doing anything about it.
Thankfully my favorite drink is water. Not much pop. I think I drink nearly a gallon of water a day now. Can I increase that? Bet I can. And another thing is I need to drop the half and half in my coffee. When I quit smoking last time, I started drinking black coffee and that was good. Because it tastes different, it's not so closely associated to that cigarette I usually have with the coffee. Another good plan, Lolli. Keep going Girl. If I could get off my ass and take a walk around the driveway - it is a pretty long circle drive - everytime I want a smoke, that in itself would be a good start on the exercise aspect of this life change plan. Hmmmm......
Another new thing is I'm seriously looking for a job. I need that for both financial good plus some good for my bean. Hopefully, Richie's supervisor will be looking at my application the first of next week and that'll go well. If not, I've signed up with an employment agency too, so something will work I'm sure. Good lots of ways. Not so much time sitting on my fat ass and less time to even think about smoking. TaDaa....am I an optimist(or is it optomist?)or what? Yeah, good attitude, Lolli. If I keep giving myself AttaBoys, rather than knocks, that's a good thing, right?
So, here's the plan. Tomorrow I locate the scale. I've tucked it away and don't remember just where. Out of sight, out of mind. Once I weigh in I'll be able to calculate just how many pounds of fat are involved here. I'm thinking somewhere around 40 to 50 to take off. Then I'll buck up, get out the old measuring tape, have Richie help me record the numbers, and away we go. Who says you always have to start a new regimen on a Monday? For some reason that's always been my plan in the past. New plan, new rules. New cute haircut today, new lease on life tomorrow. I'm lovin' it. So far. Oops, do good intentions count? Cuz at this point that's really all I've achieved. But, hey......it's a start. Go Me.
